Yesterday, I joined the reunion with my bf's relatives. It was really fun. I just thank GOD that I can really feel how welcome I am in the family. I feel so at home and I know that even his cousins like me. Hehe, if not all at least most of them. And my honey is so proud of me... sobra. Sobrang feel ko and kitang-kita ko.

The bad thing about it is that it's exactly the opposite on my side. Almost all my relatives don't like my babe. It hurts me a lot but I really PRAISE GOD coz by babe is so patient and understanding to face all those criticisms. He has showed me how much he loves me by enduring all the trials that hinder us. That's exceptional!!! He's has taken all the insults and the like just to fight for me. WOW!!! Ang haba ng hair ko...

I feel really bad today!!!   

Ewan ko ba, a guy texted me and I my mood really died down. This guy likes me, well, that's according to my mom. He went to our house one night, good thing I already left for work. Now he's explaining to me that the reason why he wasn't able to visit me again was because he was already very busy preparing for his trip. My gosh, as if I care!!!   Am I so bad, or what?!

It's been a long time since I last updated my blog here... hehe, that's because I couldn't access my tabulas anymore in the office. Hmmn, pretty bad for all of us.

Sa sobrang dami na ng nangyari sa buhay this past month and I haven't posted any of those. The bad thing is that we couldn't remember the details anymore.

What is this that I am feeling? I feel bored and exhausted. I feel like I'm tired of this routine relationship. Everyday is the same. I don't see any improvement... whatsoever.

I don't know!!! I know that I love him but I think I am not happy anymore. I don't see any assurance of where this relationship would go. I know I am just taking one day at a time coz I don't want to cause anything that would ruin even our friendship. He's been my bestfriend even before we really got involved with each other, and it's gonna be painful for me to see him messing up his life when I decide to leave.

Am I so bad? Or am I just looking for something new, searching for something that would make me happier? I ADMIT THAT I AM NOT HAPPY ANYMORE with where my life is heading. I am not so sure if I he's still the one that I am going to pray for. I want to believe that I still love him. But what should I do? Am I just fooling myself?

How am going to tell him about this? I already gave him an ultimatum but it seems that he's taking this for granted. He might be so secure that I am the same girl who would stick with him no matter what.

I know that I deserve something better. I am looking for that offer that will change my name and my life. Hahahahaha...

Well, maybe it isn't meeh... But he said that I am the one... but how am I supposed to believe that?! I don't see what he's telling me. HOPE!!! Maybe, that's what I need. Hope that he would change. Hope that I would accept that this stage will pass. Hope that one day he would ask me the words that I've been wanting to hear from him... for 4 years.

But if he's not the one... I pray that GOD would prepare me for something painful like this. I cannot keep him, I know. And he cannot keep me, either. I just pray that He would give me the strength that I need to overcome this. I am not perfect, I am weak... so weak that I almost depend on him. But I want to believe that I am strong, that can live without him.

by Rick Warren

When my wife, Kay, was undergoing treatment for breast cancer, the doctors hospitalized her about halfway through her 12-week chemo regimen because of her serious reaction to the therapy. The effects of the chemo plunged her into the misery of extreme nausea. Kay was wiped out, and I was keeping visitors away so she could get some sleep.

I sat there, quietly thanking God for my wife and for his amazing invention of marriage. With all its ups and downs, I'm certain marriage is God's primary tool for teaching us unselfishness, sensitivity, sacrifice, and mature love. As I looked at my wife, I saw that life is a precious miracle, and that I'm privileged to care for her in sickness and in health.

Reflecting on what makes a satisfying marriage, I keep returning to six characteristics that Kay and I practice in our own marriage:

Communication - This is a skill you must learn through practice, but the bottom line is you've got to talk to each other. I read once in Newsweek that the average couple only spends four minutes a day talking to each other.

Consideration - The Bible teaches that we should show our love by being helpful to each other. Being considerate simply means paying attention to what your spouse says, showing common courtesy, and treating each other with respect.

Compromise - We're taught in the Bible that "love does not demand its own way" (1 Corinthians 13:5, LB). The unloving thing to do is try to change your mate; instead you should yield your rights and learn the art of negotiation and compromise. I've seen more marriages die from inflexibility than I've ever seen from adultery, alcoholism, or abuse.

Courtship - If there was more courting in marriage, there'd be fewer marriages in court. You need to date your mate, making your relationship a priority -- specifically developing things you like to do together.

Commitment - I find it interesting that the media has finally discovered the value of commitment. Some headlines I've seen lately include: "Measuring our quality of life -- happily married;" "Strong commitment brings satisfaction;" "Commitment -- the key to marriage." There were many times in the first few years of our marriage when Kay or I might have bailed out, but we'd locked the escape hatch, agreeing that divorce was not an option. This forced us to change, to become flexible, to learn compromise, and to grow out of our selfishness.

Christ - Jesus gives you the power and the desire to develop the other five characteristics. He gives you love when you run out of love. The greatest thing you can do for your spouse is to become like Christ and then begin to treat your spouse like Christ would. Marriage and Divorce magazine discovered that one out of every three marriages ends in divorce, but when the couple is married in a church ceremony, and they attend church regularly, and they pray and read the Bible together, then the chances for divorce drop to one out of 1,105.

When both of you love Christ even more than you love each other, then you'll automatically grow together: Christ is not going to fight with Christ.

As a word of testimony, nothing has challenged me so much as the challenge to build my marriage; yet nothing else in my life has been so rewarding. It is well worth the effort.

Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, she learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, she learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, she learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, she learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, she learns to like herself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a fulltime informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."
4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive there are lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better than "here." When your "there" has become a "here" you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie inside you. The answer to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. This will often be forgotten, only to be remembered again.

(from Courage to Change: One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, page 63. Reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA)

• Knowing myself.
• Asking for help when I need it and acting on my own when I don't.
• Admitting when I'm wrong and making amends.
• Accepting love from others, even if I'm having a tough time loving myself.
• Recognizing that I always have choices, and taking responsibility for the ones I make.
• Seeing that life is a blessing.
• Having an opinion without insisting that others share it.
• Forgiving myself and others.
• Recognizing my shortcomings and my strengths.
• Having the courage to live one day at a time.
• Acknowledging that my needs are my responsibility.
• Caring for people without having to take care of them.
• Accepting that I'll never be finished -- I'll always be a work-in-progress.